"I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. What the actual fuck am I doing?"
My heart did not pound against my chest, my mouth did not water in anticipation and when my lips finally met hers it felt so shallow I had the distasteful urge to hurl all the whiskey I had previously consumed.
"This isn’t me. This. Is. Not. Me. I’m the girl you hold hands with as you walk down the beach in a cloudy day. I’m the one you text in the middle of the night to remind you how beautiful you really are. I’m the silent adoration. I’m the chaste devotion, if need be. I can be anything for love, but I’m not the drunken mashing of tongues and I’m most definitely not the ‘other woman’."
Despite my inner turmoil, I let the kiss linger. I allowed gentle hands to run through the short choppiness of my hair and I passively watched myself become another experience for another nameless adolescent. Like a greedy glutton, I indulged in the pleasure of something ephemeral and rotten.
The bliss was short lived. When I finally opened my eyes, I was met with a green gaze, which, although beautiful, did not resemble at all the brown mystery of Her eyes. The sloppy grin in the mouth I had just kissed was also very different from the sober timidness of Her smile and when I looked down into the hand resting against my heaving chest I couldn’t help but notice the gleam of the promise ring sitting there, digging into my ribcage, punching into my heart, leaving hot trails of guilt into my bust.
I then realized I had just kissed somebody’s girlfriend, aided a stranger in betraying someone else’s trust. The urge to puke intensified. Dislodging myself from the warm arms of my temporary lover, I chased off into the night, the soft curve of a neck belonging to a girl I’d never talked to (the one I call Her) propelling my feet home and the golden flicker of that ring reminding me why I should go.
Favourite Movies: The Shining
"I can remember when I was a little boy. My grandmother and I could hold conversations entirely without ever opening our mouths. She called it "shining." And for a long time, I thought it was just the two of us that had the shine to us. Just like you probably thought you was the only one."
women are considered fragile but I’ve never seen anything as easily wounded as a man’s ego
this post is stupid as hell
case in point